Melissa Etheridge VS. Prop 8

"Melissa Etheridge is an Academy Award-winning and Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter"

I was searching the internet looking at various blog sites and trying to find a topic for my blog, when I stumbled across the blog of Melissa Etheridge. In her blog, Melissa speaks of her dismay at the passing of Proposition 8 (the banning of same-sex marriage) in her beloved home of California. She then questions weather she should even have to pay her state taxes, since she doesn’t receive all of her rights and benefits that other people in the state do, so she isn’t even considered a full citizen at this point.

I personally agree with Ms. Etheridge. If a tax-paying state citizen does not receive the same rights as another state citizen, then they are pretty much considered a “second rate” citizen.
So why should you pay taxes, to a state that doesn’t give you all your rights?

And it doesn’t just end with Ms. Etheridge. Gay marriage is all over the media, and there are a lot of people who have something to say about it. What I think is that the denial of rights to one group of people is the result of the fear of that group of people. The struggle of gay rights can even be compared to the struggle of Woman’s rights, and African American rights. And eventually, the white man got over his ego, and realized that a little bit of equality can make a lot of people very happy. I’m just going to quickly jump into an argument that is indeed pro gay marriage. If you are, let’s say, and extremely intolerant & close-minded person, then I will kindly ask you not to read this blog, because it’s not for the faint of mind. And also this is just purely my opinion, and I will respect your opinion, and hopefully you will do the same.

In the words of Henry Rollins (yummy)

“Why do some people get tripped up on what I think is the most entry level obstacle, it’s a curb this high. Homosexuals have a problem? No they don’t have a problem; they have a problem with dumb mother fuckers that can’t climb a curb that high.”

I am a firm believer in the rights of homosexuals, and the equal rights of all persons. I do not think that any one group of people should be denied a right that others are given without hesitation. In this essay I am determined to support my belief and reasoning, that same sex marriage should not be illegal. And I just want my readers to think, and to question the illegalization of gay marriage across America. I want to first address some of the things that homosexuals are denied when marriage is taken away from them, I then want to go over the opposing arguments promoting the anti-gay marriage ban and then give you my opinion on the matter.
Let us begin with the everyday rights, that heterosexuals U.S. citizens constantly take for granted, that are denied to same sex couples. In the state of Maryland alone, there are currently over four hundred state, and eleven hundred federal benefits and protections that homosexuals are denied (Marylanderformarriage.org). Among these rights are marriage, family and medical
leave(to care for a sick spouse) , the ability to ride in an ambulance with said spouse, and visitation rights in a hospital/nursing home where a partner is staying. Imagine what it would be like to be denied not only the traditional ceremony that comes with marriage, but the ability to have a marriage license with the person you love. Also imagine being in a relationship with the same person for years on end and never being able to file joint tax returns, inherit social security, veterans, or disability benefits of that person, or even visit them in the hospital. Pretty ridiculous huh? Don’t get me wrong, Civil rights has come a long way, it now grants woman equal legal status to their husbands, permit marriage licenses to be signed by non-clergy men, and interracial marriage is legal. So what is one more step? Well, as with any argument there are several different view points to be heard and I hope to go over a few of those now.

Many people believe that marriage is meant to be a sacred thing between a man and a woman and not intended by God, or that same-sex marriage is unconstitutional and it destroys the sanctity of family. Well, since technically America believes in the “Separation of church and state” we shall address the first two arguments separately. Through my research I have found nothing that points to the Christian Bible directly banning same-sex marriage. In fact, the bible says nothing of it. Furthermore God never “intended” anything, I really doubt that he planned the world to face massive genocide, inequality, poverty, disease, and all of the rest of the lovely things our world deals with on a daily basis. If he did, why should we hear what he has to say anyway? Adam and Eve never listened to him in the beginning, why start now? As for same-sex marriage being unconstitutional, from what I know of the amendments, there was never a 28th amendment saying anything about marriage being between only men and women, or even banning same-sex marriage. So how can something be unconstitutional if it is not even addressed in the constitution, oh wait, it can’t.

The final argument I’m going to attack is the one where the sanctity of the family lifestyle is at risk. I find this argument to be ridiculously hilarious! Because just look at where the family lifestyle is today? You have more kids on the street then you do in a happy, cozy, mom & dad home. Approximately 26% of children under 21 are being raised in a single parent home, according to the U.S. Census Bureau in August 2007. In the year 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner(Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief: Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001). Statistics aside, you have countless children coming from dark, and sometimes even deadly, homes. With all of that, I figure the sanctity of the family was long ago destroyed. And just because two people of the same sex cannot create a child together, does not mean they can’t raise a child, show me the psychological studies and the statistics of children raised by two moms or two dads that can’t properly function in this society, and I will step down. There are plenty of children to go around in a society of adoption and artificial insemination so the more married couples trying to start a family there are, the better. One last thing, Rose Marie Briggs of the family Leader Network, says that “Our laws should reflect what is best for our children, not what is best for adults.” Well, I hate to break it to you Rose, but those children, will become adults, and we should consider the type of world they will enter into as adults. Preferably a world that does not contain bigotry and discrimination in it’s laws.

Now that I have mutilated the opposing arguments, let me give you my side of the story and wrap this up. If we live in the land of the free, and we live in a society of equal opportunity, then why are we even bothering to deny any rights to any law abiding citizen. The way I see it, if you haven’t murdered, raped, or molested another man, woman, or child, then you should not be denied something as beautiful and basic as marriage, or equal rights to your fellow human. There is no proven harm(other than hate crimes) in allowing two people to marry, despite sex or race or even age. There is nothing in the bible that directly states that God is against same-sex marriage, and there is nothing in the constitution that makes same sex marriage unconstitutional. And that is all I have to say for myself.

Bow Chika- OW OW?

1.please watch this before reading
2. This one is just as bad, even gross


Never have I been so incredibly outraged at a commercial in my life!!!
I was scanning youtube.com looking for a commercial I had seen on TV the other day when I came across something much worse. If you had watched the video above, then you understand my rage. Not only does the Axe industry use women as advertisement but they objectify us beyond repair, they dehumanize us, belittle us, and cause men to only see us as objects. In the first ad I linked to, it even tells us to go against what mom says, and that she’d even want us to dress like a slut and have sex with that guy who smells good.
The commercials basically call any woman a slut, and give men outrageous expectations of women and the deodorant. If anything I think that the company should be sued for not only exploiting women but for also using false advertisement. By showing in the commercials that the second you spray on axe, women come flocking to you, throwing off clothes as they run and immediately jump in bed with you, there is no way around it; the commercials use false advertisement to attract young male customers. One of the axe commercials even went so far as to actually say “If you Spray, the Will come” and this commercial was undeniably addressed to young high school males.
I have yet to see a commercial for a women scent that treats men as animals and objects, and shows the woman in complete control. All I see is a woman attracting one man, and it gives the impression of a romance based relationship. No using men as chairs, or sex toys, or playthings. No treating men like objects, no dehumanizing the male, really, there is nothing as extreme as what is seen in the Axe body wash/hair/deodorant advertisements.
I named this blog Bow Chick a OW OW because this negative portrayal of women, really hurts us. It’s puts us back to square one in the struggle for equal treatment. And it’s essentially training young men to become womanizers. If we don’t do something to stop the portrayal of women in advertisements, then it’s only going to get worse. And on top of that, just being quiet is just as bad as being in the commercial yourself. And it’s not only Axe that’s doing this. Next time you turn on the T.V. just take the time to look at how women are portrayed in television shows and in advertisements. If we thought we came along way from the 50’s, think again. The only difference is that we are now encouraged to wear less clothing.

Femininity in Coraline

For those of you who have not yet seen the movie Coraline, (based on the book by Neil Gaiman) I do not want to ruin it for you. So I will do my best not to, but for extra measures, maybe you shouldn’t read this post.

Alright, so the movie briefly summed up tells the story of a young girl named Coraline who lives a less then perfect life, whose parents tend to spend most of the time yelling at her, ignoring her, or finding her to be annoying (they must’ve forgotten why they had a kid). Coraline has the most difficulty with her mother, who is all work and no play, and is constantly typing away on her computer instead of doing “Motherly” things. What I want to look at is the different portrayals of femininity in the movie. Our three main examples are Coraline, her mother, and the “Other Mother”.

Coraline herself is a rough and tough little girl who likes playing in the mud and the rain, having adventures, gardening, and exploring. You’ll never see this character in anything other than pants and a shirt, and the occasional rain coat. Although she does not hold herself up to gender role expectations, she does of her mother.

Coraline’s Mother is first portrayed wearing a neck brace because of some unknown accident. She sits behind the computer all day doing her work (which is writing a gardening catalogue) and rarely ever cooks dinner or plays with Coraline. Coraline views her mother as a nagging mother who does not want her to play in the mud, or have any fun at all.

The “Other Mother” is everything Coraline dreams. She’s caring, attentive, and spoils Coraline. She’s rarely seen outside of the kitchen and she’s always either cooking or baking or making something for Coraline. She wears adorable outfits that show off her curves (almost always skirts), she’s well groomed as far as a stylish haircut and makeup goes. (MOVIE SPOILER: she turns into a hideous monster later on)

First I think it’s pretty funny that Coraline, a girl who could be considered a Tomboy, expects her mother to always be able to do the cooking or the gardening. But Coraline herself is actually a good example young a girl. Young girls should know that dresses and skirts and pretty hair and staying clean aren’t always the most fun, and that it’s ok to get dirty, and ok to be a little bit of a tomboy. And you’ve got to think, What with the Director of the movie being Tim Burton and he’s just OH SO GOOD at only doing movies with positive messages for the audience about being a better person (IE Edward Scissorhands: be kind to those who are different / Nightmare before Christmas: don’t try an be something you aren’t etc) That maybe the message behind the (MOVIE SPOILER) perfect “other Mother” who wonderfully matched up to society’s definition of the “Mom” role suddenly becoming a demonic soul sucking beast might just be that not everything society defines as “right“, is necessarily “good.”

{PS: I totally recomend seeing the movie in 3D}

The Second Rape

The Second Rape, By Aus-Rotten
Every 45 seconds a woman is raped
Our sexist culture allows no escape
This violent crime is far from obscurity
When the rate of victims is one in three
Society conditions men to be rapists
And our indifference perpetuates it
With derogatory language that tends to dehumanize
Making it easier for men to victimize
And the pornographic images that help portray
Women as legitimate sexual prey
When sexism is embedded in our judicial system
It's no surprise why the courts won't listen
And the role of attacker and survivor become distorted
So the majority of rapes are never reported
The threat of rape is always there
It's like a poison that saturates the air
A society stricken by a cancerous disease
Where men know they can do as they please
You tell me the punishment for rape
You tell me how much jail time it will take
When one out of three women will be raped
You tell me what it's going to fucking take
Do you see me in my low cut shirt
Or high heel shoes or a miniskirt
Woman is the victim you desire
You say you can't resist your predatory fire
You tell me why I stand guilty and accused
You tell me when I'm beaten and abused
When it's my body that's been raped and defiled
You tell me why I'm the one on trial
Defense attorney?: Do you know the man who "allegedly" attacked you?
Victim?: Yes I know the man who raped me.
Defense attorney?: And isn't this man a friend of yours?
Victim?: Well I thought he was a friend of mine.
Defense attorney?: And were you drinking that night he 'allegedly" attacked you?
Victim?: I had a drink or two but is that a crime?
Defense attorney?: I'll ask the questions if you don't mind!-What were you wearing: How did you act?
Victim?: My wardrobe isn't an invitation for a man to attack.-I didn't act in any way to bring this on. Why am I on trail? What did I do wrong?
Defense attorney?: Could you tell the jury why you let this happen?
Victim?: I was in shock. I couldn't stop him.
Defense attorney?: You claim that you were raped but how do we know?
Victim?: I said no, I said no, no, no!
Defense attorney?: Isn't it true you're just a woman scorned?
Victim?: I'm a woman who's been raped and torn.
Defense attorney?: Your honor, I demand that this case be dismissed,-it all comes down to her word against his!
I may not have bruises all over my body
But when I went to his room I never would have guessed
That he would force my no to mean a yes
You tell me why I'm guilty of this crime
You tell me why the responsibility is mine
When women suffer a second rape during trial
Courts help rapists to violate and defile

This song I find to be very true. Far too frequently a womyn is placed in a situation where she is uncomfortable and forced to do things against her will. What this song is trying to represent is that in several cases when a womyn goes on trial for rape, it is as if she is the defendant, and its almost like a "Second rape", being asked question after question causing her to relive the horrible experience, and several times its as if no one believes what she went through. Although I do understand that this process is all very necessary to get to the heart and truth of the events that conspired, I feel like it could be done in a way that's less interrogative and more sympathetic.

Now I can also see the opposing argument to this song, that it poorly generalizes the court systems, and also makes out the female to be the constant victim, but keep in mind, most songs like this are focused on a single event or issue, not everything that has ever occurred. Plus there are too many rape cases to combine them all into one song. In fact there were 248,300 individuals who had been raped or sexually assaulted in 2007 alone.(The National Crime Victimization Survey) According to the U.S. Department of Justice, an estimated 91% of the victims of rape and sexual assault are female and 9% are male. Nearly 99% of the offenders they described in single-victim incidents are male.(http://www.calcasa.org/) So as you see it's not just womyn that are raped(violently or not).

Originally, the court systems have made it difficult for rape victims to prosecute, or at least the Maryland Court system has. In 2006 the law was interpreted almost exactly as it was 200 years ago. The Maryland law was stated like so....
...."[I]t was the act of penetration that was the essence of the crime of rape; after this initial infringement upon the responsible Male's interest in a woman's sexual and reproductive functions, any further injury was considered to be less consequential. The damage was done. It was this view that the moment of penetration was the point in time, after which a woman could never be "re-flowered," that gave rise to the principle that, if a woman consents prior to penetration and withdraws consent following penetration, there is no rape. Maryland adheres to this tenet, having adopted the common law, which remains the law of the Land until and unless changed by the State's highest court or by statute . . ." (http://happyfeminist.typepad.com/happyfeminist/2006/10/maryland_court_.html)
This law was brought to surface in Baby v. Maryland.

Since then the law has changed to allow the victim to say "no" or "stop" after penetration, and it will be considered rape if the second party involved does not adhere to the victims wishes after more than five seconds and continues their attack, rape is also broken into "Statutory rape" and "rape by force".

Well, I guess what I'm really trying to say, is that rape is more common then we know, and it's not always clear who's the victim, or if it's actually rape, and quite often the victim becomes the defendant when placed in court.